I’ve Been Thinking About My Legacy
Milbrey Gnann was diagnosed with breast cancer nine years ago. She was breast feeding her infant son, Thomas, when she noticed changes in her breast and initially thought she had mastitis. She was put on antibiotics until she could get an appointment with a surgeon; she got the diagnosis of breast cancer after several biopsies and imaging procedures a month later. Her advice: “Any time you have changes in your breast, you need to have it checked.” When she did have it checked by the surgeon, the mass was already five centimeters. She was given chemotherapy to reduce the size of the mass before surgery. Nine years later, Milbrey has been given ten different drugs to treat her cancer. In March of this year, drug therapy will have stopped for her unless a new drug becomes available in time. “There is a new drug in clinical trial so I just hope that my current treatment is buying me time. But if it doesn’t get FDA approval, or I’m allergic to it, there is only one more option and that is a sea sponge chemotherapy agent, but there are additional risks associated with people who have kidney disease.” A wife and mother of two sons, until two years ago Milbrey was also a nurse at Beaufort Memorial Hospital. Her husband, Walt, is a native of Beaufort. The two met while they were at Clemson and moved here
in 1997. Their son, Walter, is in seventh grade and Thomas is in fourth grade. They are the biggest reason she gets up in the morning and puts on her brave face for the world. When she talks about her husband and sons, Milbrey’s face lights up; her children’s art covers all possible surfaces in her kitchen. “The kids help so much – they keep me focused; they have to get to school, and I love going to their ball games.” She says with much pride, “Both boys enjoy school. Walter plays soccer and sails a Laser at the Beaufort Yacht and Sailing Club (BYSC), he loves the racing competitions there. Thomas sails a bit with his dad but he really loves any sport with a ball. He goes to school early two mornings a week where he plays cup stacking; he also plays the viola and sings. Our family spends a lot of time at the BYSC socially and that’s really good for me because I love being on the water.” When asked how she has the energy to take care of a house and her family, she replies “I don’t, look at my house!” Her house looks like that of any woman who is busy. The difference is that Milbrey is busy managing her disease; cancer is a family affair. After she lost her breast and subsequently during her disease process and reactions to the many medications she’s been given, Milbrey’s cancer metastasized to her skin and chest wall and then about two years ago, to her lungs. Last fall fluid built up in her chest and had to be drained regularly, a task her husband Walt did for her. Everything is so expensive; one of my pills cost $1000.00 and I needed five of them a day! Three years ago one of my medications destroyed my kidneys.” Due to the renal failure, she is now on home dialysis about eight hours every night. “My kids know how to set up my machine because they want me to do the dialysis.” I don’t like being sick but I’ve come to be at peace because I’ve got good support at St. Peter’s Church, my family and friends.” What is it like for her to not be able to envision her future? “It makes me sad! I’ve done my funeral arrangements; and in a way, it’s odd to be in control of that but it’s also kind of neat. I’ve picked out readings and songs that I like, but I’ve also left some things to be done by my family. I have been thinking about my legacy. You know, many people, not even close friends come up to me and tell me how much of an inspiration I have been to them. I help them persevere with the challenges life has brought them too. This Sunday after Mass I was talking to a member and he told me he is always amazed that I still can smile. Another time, someone told me that I have faced my suffering with grace. I have a couple of my former patients, even one from nursing student days, that are some of
