Navy SEAL’s Story of PTSD and God’s Redemptive Love

story by NAKEISHA DAWSON-THOMPSON     photos by JOHN WOLLWERTH

David Morris, a husband, father, and former Navy SEAL from Beaufort, has come full circle. David is, as many veterans are, living with Post-traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). David joined the United States Navy in 1965 at the age of 17 and later joined the Seals Team in 1967, one of the most strenuous and stressful jobs the Navy has to offer. David was good at his job, a young man with the heart to never quit. David has always been an intelligent man, never having to work hard for good grades and prided himself with that.

David was diagnosed with chronic severe PTSD in 1996. It brought on while serving as a member of Mike Platoon, Seal Team One in the Republic of Vietnam, many years earlier. Several events changed David’s life in ways he would never imagine. (PTSD) is defined by the Mayo Clinic as a mental health condition that’s triggered by a terrifying event, either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, and deep depression, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event. Most people who go through traumatic events may have temporary difficulty adjusting and coping, but with time and good self-care, they usually get better. If the symptoms get worse, last for months or even years, and interfere with your day-to-day functioning, you may have PTSD.

David’s diagnosis is chronic-severe PTSD, which means his stage of the disorder interferes with his daily life functioning on levels that classify as severe, but consistent, which makes it chronic. David recalls three events that he identifies as “the worst,” one which he believes was the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. David recalls these events, tearfully, and with obvious remorse.

While serving in Vietnam, David states some of his duties included: gathering intelligence, extracting, transporting prisoners, and participating in ambushes. The first incident occurred one night while on the Mekong River when David’s SEAL team was returning from a combat mission. They were being transported aboard a Patrol Boat Riverine (PBR) when, without warning, the weapon of the SEAL team member sitting next to David, malfunctioned, suddenly discharging and killing one team member and severely injuring another.

The second incident, which is indelibly inscribed upon David’s psychic, is an ambush during which he was shot in his leg. David was awarded a Purple Heart for his injury, but he did not want the citation, and to this very day, he feels undeserving, because his injury was the result of friendly fire. During this particular operation, a “little old lady” was taken into custody by a South Vietnamese soldier for interrogation. David last saw her taken on a boat, and he painfully laments that he doesn’t know whatever happened to the “little old lady.”

The third and most devastating incident David recalls is a war crime he committed that would haunt him for years to come. David states that after his service as a Navy SEAL, he returned home to Beaufort and began to try and lead a healthy life. For many years, he was able to hide the trauma that would one day bring his whole world crashing down without warning.

In 1996, after going to the VA for an Agent Orange physical, David had a significant breakdown. The questions the doctor began to ask him brought up all the bad things that David saw and participated in Vietnam. The very memories he buried so deeply inside were the very things that came exploding to the surface. There were days when David’s biggest desire was to be alone, isolated from all his family and everyone else. Eventually, the anxiety and depression caused David to lose his job. Once diagnosed, several medications were prescribed. Medicines that were supposed to help him, but David’s experience with the trial and error of antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications only made things worse. David went through treatments, counseling, medication changes with the hope that something would “help him feel like himself again.” But his heart was full of guilt and unforgiveness that plagued his mind and caused the depression to worsen.

David found that writing a daily journal, as suggested by his VA social worker, helped him to recall events and how he felt on certain days. David, with the help of his wife, Becky, wrote a book entitled Coming Full Circle, Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. His writing allowed David to get everything out of his mind and out on paper. David states that writing this book was very therapeutic for him.

Divine Intervention
David’s book speaks of his experiences in detail, the good, the bad, and the ugly. David talks about an experience where he is certain the Lord sent him a visual message of forgiveness. It was such a beautiful picture of forgiveness that assisted David to begin to forgive himself, knowing that God had forgiven him first. David’s faith in the Lord has helped him to overcome small steps at a time. He believes he must share his story of God’s redemptive love and how he continues to overcome and share with other veterans who share this life-altering disease. David met Rev. John C. Dortch, Founder/CEO of the Circle of Hope Ministries, Inc., a faith-based, charitable organization that has recently opened a transitional housing facility for homeless veterans, in Beaufort. The two met at a group session for Veterans with PTSD. David attributes his relationship with Pastor John to his strength to speak out and tell his story. Pastor John has been an excellent support for David and Becky. Pastor John and David share a very special bond that they believe is ordained by God.

A Wife’s Perspective
Becky, David’s wife, has been by his side throughout this entire ordeal. She recalls the day it all changed for David, and it also changed for her. Often the spouses of people who have PTSD suffer as well. Becky recounts feeling punished because she wanted to continue to enjoy life, wanting things to be as they once were. Becky often felt that as their lives fell apart, she shared that “It was only David everyone was worried about, which I understood; however, there didn’t seem to be a concern for the devastating effect it had on me.” To Becky, it seemed like she was married to a different person than she knew before the diagnosis. She said, “David was often abusive, angry and irritable, withdrawn and depressed.” David’s diagnosis had significantly strained the emotional and mental health of those closest to him, Becky taking the brunt of it all. But she exclaims, “My faith in God was the biggest help during this ordeal. It was my faith in the Lord and my love for David that helped me to endure and to keep my sanity.” Becky wants to make sure that awareness is made for the spouses of those diagnosed with PTSD.

David’s Mission
David has served his country, he has done the work asked of him, and now he wishes to help others who suffer as he does. David is very open and candid in his book, and his wish is that someone will read his book, relate to his experiences, and open up about their issues before being cornered into thinking that suicide is the only way out. Many people suffer from mental health disorders like David. Many suffer in silence, undiagnosed, and believe there is no hope for them. David’s life is a testament that trauma, whether physical or mental, can be managed with the proper tools and loving support. This former Navy SEAL, husband, father, child of God, and author continues to serve beyond his discharge by sharing his testimony. David believes that the Lord forgave him and saved him from himself at a time when he felt his life was not worth living. His faith, his wife, his book, and his divine friendships are all part of his support system that continues to help him live for tomorrow.

David’s book Coming Full Circle, Living with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is available for purchase on Amazon, Apple I Tunes, Google Play, or Barnes and Noble.

If you, or a loved one, are battling any form of PTSD, mental health breakdown, or contemplating suicide, please do not suffer in silence. You are not alone. Please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255. If you are a Veteran, please call 1-800-273-8255 for assistance. Your life matters!